Renewed
by melliexgrant
Summary: Fitz has a revelation about is relationship with Mellie, but where will it lead them [Mellitz] Characters belong to Shonda/ABC
1. Chapter 1

_**Apparently I like one word titles. Anyways, not sure where this came from or where it is going but here it is. Enjoy x**_

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><p>"Mr. President" Sarah exclaimed jumping out of her chair<p>

"Is she in there" Fitz asked storming into the waiting room outside Mellie's office

"Yes, sir" Mellie's secretary said nervously

"Cancel the rest of her day" he said and flung Mellie's door open

"Fitz" Mellie said standing from her desk.

"Come" he growled

"Excuse me" Mellie replied annoyed and confused by his entry. She tried to read his face but she couldn't tell if it was anger or concern or perhaps something else all together

"Come with me now" he repeated and started moving towards her

"Why" she asked not moving. She couldn't read him but he was scaring her. They hadn't spoken since their argument a few nights ago, she'd barely even seen him. She was racing through her mind trying to figure out what he could be so upset about.

"Now Mellie" He said reaching her and grabbing her arm

"Fitz what do you want, let go of me" She said as he started to pull out of her office

"We're not talking here" he said still pulling her

She tried keeping up with him as the grip on her arm tightened.

"Fitz you're scaring me" she finally said and he looked over his shoulder back at her. She thought she detected a smirk on his face but she couldn't be sure. He loosened his grip some but continued pulling her through the residence to their bedroom.

Fitz flung the door open and pulled her inside then slammed it shut and pushed her against it. She stared at him wide eyed completely uncertain of what was going on. She figured he was going to yell at her more… try and finish the argument they had had. But he was just staring at her breathing heavily.

He had one arm on the door next to her head as he towered over her. The fear was over taking her and she closed her eyes trying to collect herself. It was a mistake, flashes of Big Jerry began playing in her mind, she couldn't fight him off then and she couldn't now. She slowly opened her eyes to try and escape her inner demons to find Fitz had moved back, clearly sensing her fear. It caught her off guard, how long had it been since he had been able to detect her emotions or read her. No, how long had it been since he cared to even notice. He had put up this barrier between them where everything about her was boiled down to cold, heartless bitch. And if she dared give a genuine emotion he just assumed she was being manipulative.

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><p>***argument flashback***<p>

Mellie was leaning against the railing on the Truman Balcony enjoying the cool night air. It was the only place left in this house where she could find some semblance of peace. Or so she thought.

She grimaced as she heard the knob on the door turn.

"Coming out to call your whore" Mellie said without even turning. She rolled the glass of hooch in her hand and toyed with the notion of throwing it at him.

"Checked on Teddy already then tonight" he replied snidely "Or I suppose it's too hard to hold your booze and your baby at the same time"

Mellie gripped the glass, she thought she might crack it from the force. Hurling it at his head would solve nothing, but she couldn't help some inject venom with her words.

"I'm out here preparing for the day he asks me why his daddy is moaning in his office with another women. Any pointers you can lend me from your childhood" she asked coldly turning to face him. Her blue eyes were ablaze.

Fitz's face was red with rage and his fists were clenched so tightly his knuckles were white. Mellie swallowed hard, for the first time in a long time she thought he might actually hurt her.

"You bitch" he mumbled under his breath. How dare she throw his father in his face after everything that he had done… to both of them.

"That's right" she said "I'm the horrible villainous bitch who ruined your life"

"We BOTH have a hand in this" Fitz yelled back at her "At least I own up to my part"

"Own up…" Mellie couldn't even finish her sentence before laughing "Oh please, at least I've made an effort to change. Tell me Fitz, where have you improved. Point out to me where you are the better parent, spouse, partner, human."

"It's not about being BETTER" he continued yelling

"Well at least I've made an effort to show up for you" she said turning her face away from him "You couldn't even be there for me when you found out…." she paused as the pain caught in her chest. She had always fought the urge to tell Fitz about her rape, fearing the outcome. And she had been right, Olivia told him and he didn't even care. He wouldn't even let her talk about it or get some fraction of closure. He only made the wounds worse. "You couldn't even be a man when our son died" she said the anger returning in her voice

"I told you not to speak of that" he growled

"Oh right, how could I forget I had to add that to the list"

"Just go back to your ornamental bullshit job around here and leave me be" he shot back at her, avoiding once more the topic of his attempted suicide

Mellie walked closer to him, her chest heaving from rage. He just glared back at her.

"You couldn't even last two months without me taking care of everything for you." she said "You can't make it through a day with out Cyrus running this country and a moment with out your whore. So tell me, who really is the ornamental one around here."

"I'm the one who actually carries the title and doesn't have to run around scheming behind the scenes to feel like they matter" he shot back

"That's so cute" she said mocking him "That you still think you earned that title all by yourself" she scoffed at him and stormed off the balcony.

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><p>"Do you still love me" Fitz finally asked breaking the silence. Mellie narrowed her eyes trying to discern his intent<p>

"What" she finally responded in a confused whisper

"You once told me you would love me…. no matter what…" He said softening his face and his voice "Do you still love me" he asked again

"Fitz" she questioned

"Do you love me" he asked again. He was doing everything in his power not to touch her right now. This beautiful, vulnerable creature that stood before him. He hadn't intended to scare her like this, he was now regretting his rash actions. But he needed her and her answer in the worst way.

Mellie dropped her head. She had no idea what he was getting at. Of course she still loved him somewhere deep down inside, but she refused to acknowledge it. She had been hurt by him too many times. She dared not get her hopes up. Dare not expose those wounds once again.

"Mel" he said softly placing a finger under her chin and raising her head

"What do you want from me" Mellie responded. Her head was trying to fight him, but her body was tingling at his touch sending waves of a rare sensation from the back of her neck to the base of her stomach. His shoulders dropped at her response, he had hurt her so deeply. He was praying it wasn't beyond repair.

"It's simple" he said trying to reassert his confidence "Do you love me" He moved closer to her gazing into her beautiful blue eyes. He forgot what it was like losing himself in her eyes, for so long they had been cold to him. But damn they were beautiful.

"Fitz that is not simple, it could not be further from simple" she said readjusting her stance, her body was rigid from the moment her threw her office door open and her muscles were starting to ache. Fitz was very aware of her fidgeting and discomfort and he tried again to adjust and soften his demeanor.

"In this moment…. forget our past and don't think about our future" he said leaning in "Do you love me" he asked again brushing his lips against hers

"Fitz" she whispered. She was losing her resolve. She could see the hunger in his eyes now, that's what she hadn't been able to detect before. It had been far too long since he had looked at her with such desire. He was taking in her scent while he waited for her to respond. Her heart rate quickened and she swallowed hard before answering. She didn't know where any of this was leading but she couldn't lie to him.

"Yes"

He barely let her finish before crashing his lips into hers, as he cradled her face with his hands. It was so unlike the kiss that followed the last time he asked her this. She moaned softly as he pressed his body into her and slipped his tongue into her mouth. But her mind quickly took back over and she placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. And he moved away reluctantly.

Fitz knew he should explain himself, he could see the confusion and concern written so clearly on her face. But his desire was outweighing any rationale right now.

"Fitz" she said breathlessly "What is this… what…"

"It all clicked for me…" he said brushing his thumb over her cheek and resting his forehead against hers "It's all clear to me now"

"I don't understand"

"Can we talk about this later" he said moving back into her pressing her into the door kissing on her neck beneath her ear. She moaned softly. Fitz smirked, everything about her was coming back to him, he knew her body so well. He had made it his mission when they were first married to learn her most sensitive spots as he so loved every erotic noise that escaped her. Her exterior may be hard but he knew just how sensitive she truly was.

Mellie was so confused and she didn't completely trust him but it had been so long… so long since she had seen this kind of desire in his eyes and she couldn't ignore that. She just nodded.

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><p>Next couple chapters should be up soon. I'm trying to decide why I have three or four fics running instead of focusing on one, I guess that's writing for you!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

_**I toyed with the notion of adding more to this section but you can use your imagination to fill in any gaps lol. Enjoy x**_

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><p>Her acceptance of his advances seemed to spurn him on and crushed his lips back into hers cupping the back of her head with one hand, running the other down her body.<p>

She ran her hands up his chest and then wrapped her arms around his neck drawing him closer. Their kiss continued to deepen as he explored her body. He wanted to stay locked in that moment but he needed the contact of her soft skin.

He pushed her designer jacket off and let it fall to the floor before running his hands back down her body to the hem of her dress. Her dress was tight today, curve hugging and in his haste to pull it up around her thighs she heard it rip but she didn't even care. He was leaving her mouth now trailing sloppy and hurried kisses down her neck to her collar bone. Her hands moved to his hair as she let her head fall back against the door. A warm sensation spread through her body like wildfire, she couldn't remember the last time she felt so turned on, so alive. Maybe it was just in his desire, she hadn't been so wanted by him in so long she didn't even think it was possible anymore.

Fitz made it to his knees and stole a glance back up at her. Mellie's head was back against the door and her eyes were closed and lips slightly parted waiting in anticipation for his next move. He pushed up her dress even farther and hooked his fingers into her underwear. He smiled at the fact that every detail of her was perfection, she wore beautiful lace lingerie even though she knew he hadn't cared. Her stockings were thigh with a beautiful lace pattern at the top. For a split second he wondered if she was dressing this way for Andrew, but he knew it couldn't be. Olivia had put an end to that and gossip in the halls pointed to Andrew and the RNC Chairwoman being in a relationship. He started to pull down her underwear and groaned, she even kept herself perfectly manicured. How had he been able to ignore her perfection for so long. He was a fool.

She dug her nails into his shoulders as she used him for balance to kick off her heals so he could remover her underwear. Immediately his hands trailed back up her soft, milky thighs. His touch was electric and her body shivered in response.

"Fitz" she half moaned half whispered as his warm breath lingered near her center.

He wanted, no he needed to stand and get his pants off as his growing budge was getting uncomfortable against the front of his pants. But he couldn't pass up an opportunity to taste her again. He moved closer before teasing her with a finger, she was already wet and glistening and he groaned again. He had wanted her so badly, so badly he had left the Oval and stormed to her office dragging her to their bedroom. He wasn't so sure she would return the desire but there was no denying it.

"Mmm Fitz" she moaned again as he slipped his tongue into her warm folds and grasped his soft curls with her fingers. His talent and attentiveness was something she had so missed. He wanted to stay there and give her the attention she deserved, but he couldn't at least not yet. He needed to be inside her in the worst way. He stole a few more licks before standing and rushing his hands to undo his belt and pants. He kissed her moving his tongue against hers and mixing her taste in their mouths.

Mellie was appreciating the attention he was giving her with his tongue, but there was no protest to him abandoning that. She needed to feel him inside her and now. As if this was a dream that could end at any moment. He could snap back to his senses and leave her unsatisfied.

Finally freeing himself from his pants he moved to pick her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he guided his throbbing member into her wet entrance.

"God Mels you're so tight" he said burying his head into her neck trying to get himself back under control. After three kids, he just couldn't believe it. All she could muster was a moan in response. He wished he had taken the time to remove her dress and unbutton his shirt as she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. He so wanted to feel her skin against his.

"Fitz… Im… close" she managed to mumble as each thrust came harder and deeper than the last.

"Come for me baby" he replied and kissed her again. He could feel her tightening even more and it was taking everything in his power not to come before she did. He shifted slightly going even deeper than before and brushing against her g-spot.

"Fitz" she screamed out as her orgasm rushed through her body. The grip of her thighs and fingers tightened as her inner muscle clamped down on him hard. Her entire body shook before going limp. He followed after her shooting his load deep within her.

"Yes baby" he said groaning as he continued to slowly thrust her as they came down from their climax. He loved the fluttering and pulsating feeling of her orgasm. Shit, he thought to himself. How long since he had felt this sensation from her. He couldn't even be certain if had had cared to make sure she came the last times they had been together. He had been such a selfish asshole, using her just to get off when whatever mistress he had at the time wasn't available.

Mellie's body was left weak but she clung to him with whatever strength she had left, as if he would disappear if she let him go. Her head dropped to his shoulder as he used the door to brace against. They were both breathing heavily.

"Damn Mels" he said adjusting his grip on her and carrying her to their bed. He took the time to unzip her dress, gently laid her down and pulled her dress off. He stepped back finally removing his jacket and admiring the beauty that lay before him. He bent back down over her and kissed her. "You're so beautiful"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and followed him back upward until she was in a sitting position. Mellie gave him a bashful yet coy smile as she moved her hands to undo the buttons of his shirt. Fitz helped her, removing it and his tie. Mellie's blue eyes glowed as she ran her hands over his chiseled body. He stood there smiling, he took pride in keeping his body in shape and he was enjoying her appreciation of it. Fitz moved closer to her reaching back to undo her bra. Finally he had them both naked and now he could take his time with her.


	3. Chapter 3

Fitz moved from on top of her and groaned as they disconnected. Mellie sighed… she knew this was the part where he came back to his senses and left her, regretting the choice to have sex with her. He climbed out of bed and she rolled over to hide her face the last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry. How had she been so stupid to let him in again. She knew better. She knew when he was horny he would say or do anything to get his. Mellie squeezed her eyes shut… it seemed so different this time. He seemed so different, genuine and sincere. Her heart sank.

She could hear him moving around the bed, probably collecting his clothes. Mellie opened her eyes, surprised to see him standing over her with a confused look on his face. He had made it to her side of the bed and scooped her up to pull down the covers before gently placing her back down and covering her up.

Mellie was in shock.

He returned to his side and climbed in bed pulling her into his arms and kissing her bare shoulder.

"You okay over there" he asked reaching up to brush a sweaty piece of hair off her face.

"I… uhh…" she stammered… she didn't want to ruin the moment by questioning his actions or his motives but she didn't feel completely comfortable

"You're still confused" he said and she just nodded slowly. "I'm sorry" he said tightening his grip on her "Can we talk about it later? I just want to hold you for awhile" she nodded again and tried to relax. Fitz loosened his grip and slowly traced her skin with his fingertips. She wanted to let go and just be present with him but she couldn't calm her mind, she needed to know.

"Fitz" she whispered

"Yes" he said burying his head in her soft auburn hair taking in the sweet aroma of sex and sweat mixed with her vast array of products.

"What about you…" she questioned nervously.

"Me" he questioned

"You asked me… you have asked me twice now if I still love you… but…" her voice caught in her throat and she couldn't bring herself to ask him

"Melody Elizabeth Grant" he said emphasizing her last hame, their last name. He rolled her over to face him and looking into her beautiful blue eyes with all the honesty he could muster "I" he said and kissed her lips "Love" and he kissed her again "You" he kissed her once more. She smiled a genuine smile, trying to keep the tears that were welling up in her eyes from falling. She swallowed hard fighting back emotions she was so unfamiliar with, but her heart was soaring. Her head was trying to caution her, this couldn't be what it seemed.

Fitz laid there watching her. She had literally gone through ever emotion possible in the past hour and he felt bad he hadn't given her rational to make sense of it. He knew her, he knew her so well, he knew she was analyzing everything over and over in her head. The smile that graced her face… was the most beautiful thing he had seen in a long time. He was able to put it there, he swelled with pride. It was a funny feeling, being so happy just making someone else happy. But there was so much collective hurt between them that it made sense to him.

"Mel" he whispered softly brushing away a tear that had fallen to her cheek. Her eyes slowly opened. It was as if every time she opened them or she stopped touching him it would all go away like a beautiful dream turned into a nightmare. "It can be later" he said smiling at her

"Later" she questioned

"We can talk now… if you want. I can tell you are still trying to make sense of everything"

"What is this Fitz… what… what does it mean"

"I don't know" he replied honestly

"Oh" she said and her eyes dropped

"I don't know because… well" he started hurriedly before he lost her to inner demons "There is so much collective hurt between us… this won't be some quick fix where we can just have sex and everything will be okay again." she nodded in agreement

"So wait…" she said looking back up at him. She was afraid to even think her next words let alone say them "You… you want to fix things?"

Fitz smiled and moved a little closer to her. He leaned forward and kissed her perfect nose

"I do"

"But… I… the other day… you…"

"I know… I know baby… I'm so sorry about that." he said resting his head on hers. He wished he could take back all the hurtful things he had said to her but he couldn't "I'm so sorry about everything. I know that is just a blanket statement… it's going to take time for us to heal and to trust each other again. But I need you to know that I am sorry"

"I'm sorry too" she whispered. She knew she was just as much to blame for their problems as he was.

"I want to set aside time each day where we talk… I mean… of course we're going to talk… but in a repairing way. We could get a mediator or a therapist or something if you want…." he said nervously. He had it all figured out in his head but he wasn't certain how she would take it or if she would even agree. If she even thought he was worth the effort after everything that had happened. Mellie sensed his nerves, she was certain that's what she was detecting. She placed a hand delicately on his chest over his heart.

"Fitz…" she said softly and he looked at her concerned "I think… I think that we both want something more here… but we're both afraid that the other person doesn't"

"I'm so scared you're not… that you won't want me after everything I've done…"

"Oh Fitz" she said nuzzling into his chest. And then she froze. As much as she did want to fix things with him, maybe he was right. No, it wasn't that she didn't want him, it was more that she was terrified she would put too much of herself back into him and he would tear it all away again. She had already given him so much of herself and given up so much for them, for this idea of them. It was all too good to be true. She cautioned herself, her heart, her soul. 'Wait it out and see, but don't get your hopes up, don't give what little of yourself is left away just to have it be destroyed'


	4. Chapter 4

"I can tell you're already putting walls up" he said sadly

"What did you expect" she snapped back pulling away from him. She quickly covered her mouth, that was the Mellie he was expecting to see. "I'm sorry" she said recoiling "My emotions are all over the place."

"I know" he replied putting a hand back on her waist. He flinched at her tone but he understood where it was coming from. He had treated her so poorly, damaged her trust probably beyond repair. He was going to have to be the one to keep showing up for her now. Prove to her that a snap of anger wasn't going to deter him from his goals.

Mellie looked at him curiously. She had expected him to snap back and roll over or even leave. Had that been his response she would have pushed away all these emotions and known it wouldn't last, but he didn't. He remained fixated on her, taking in her every movement, trying to read her thoughts.

"I should explain myself" he said readjusting and sitting up. "You deserve to know where my head is at and where i'm coming from"

"Thank you" she replied sitting up as well pulling the sheets with her. She felt so exposed right now, physically as well as emotionally.

"Hold that thought" he said leaving the bed. He walked around found his briefs, slipped them on, and left. Mellie took the moment of his absence to try and collect herself. She dropped her head back against the headboard. 'What does he want, what is he doing, what is this' she questioned.

Fitz walked back into their bedroom wearing a T shirt and shorts, he could tell she was deep in thought and he knew he needed to explain himself now before she retreated back to a place he could no longer reach her. "Here" he said handing her one of his old Navy sweatshirts and a pair of shorts she didn't even know she owned. "Meet you on the couch in 10" he said motioning to the furniture in their room.

She nodded and he smiled and left again. Mellie crawled out of bed slowly. Shit, he had fucked her harder than she thought, her muscles were already sore but she didn't care. It was amazing. She couldn't even place the last time they had had sex, let alone them having sex because they both wanted each other. Ever since Big Jerry had raped her it had been hard for her to open up to the idea. Her body was always more than willing, but her head was plagued by demons she would never be free of. Andrew had helped her though, he had awoken something in her that she thought was long gone. She paused pulling Fitz's sweatshirt over her head. Andrew. A smile graced her face. There were moments during their brief affair where she thought she loved him back, but she knew in her heart she was just trying to replace Fitz, or make him angry or jealous. She was happy they had a chance to end things amicably, he was her dearest friend, he had saved her life in more ways than one.

She wrapped her arms around herself and walked over to the window. There was still enough daylight outside she could see the grounds clearly. And for the first time in a long time she didn't feel as if she was looking outside from within the walls of an ivory prison. She left the window and walked into the bathroom to wash her face and fix her hair. Both were a mess. She managed to get her hair somewhat under control and pinned it up in a messy bun. She looked in the mirror at her face before washing it, makeup was smeared everywhere from the sweat and the sex and the tears.

She stepped back and looked in the mirror again, studying her face. She could see her old self starting to break through, the real Mellie. The Mellie she thought was long gone. She placed her hands on the counter and closed her eyes. Was this a reality. After everything that had happened from Big Jerry raping her to little Jerry dying, were they finally going to reconnect.

Fitz walked back into the room carrying a tray and set it down on the coffee table near the couch. Mellie wasn't there and for a split second he thought maybe she had taken the opportunity in his absence to run. But he caught a glimpse of her standing in the bathroom and walked in. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her small waist, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Should I have given you more than ten minutes" he asked jokingly. He could tell from her stance she was in a dark place and he wanted to bring her back before they talked.

Mellie placed her arms over his, resting her face against his and sighing contently. She could have stood there forever, it had been so long since he had shown her such affection.

"Sorry" she said quietly, she was going to tell him she was thinking about Jerry but she could sense his trying to lighten the mood "You left me a bit of a mess" she said and shoved him back playfully. Fitz kissed her neck. It was surprising to him how easily and how quickly they were able to get back to this place. This place of love and ease with one another. Before things went south they had always been so great together, which was one of the reasons he was so hurt when she pulled away. He missed her, he missed this, he missed them.

He could open himself up to her now, now that he knew she loved him back. Of course she loved him back, she was constantly fighting for him, for them. At home and in the political arena, how had he been so blind to it before. She had always been his most staunch supporter, she helped him push through his self esteem problems that stemmed from his father. She was always there for him, even when he rejected her, she was there. It was his turn to show up for her, no matter what. He now knew how broken she was, how damaged. No, her trust was broken and damaged. She had fought tooth and nail to keep herself together, her inner strength was astounding. If she could be that formidable without him he thought… what could she be like if they finally operated as a partnership. Feeling her soften to him in his arms was renewing his resolve, her frigid stone walls were finally melting away.

"Come on" he said releasing her "Our hot chocolate is getting cold"

"Hot chocolate" she asked sweetly following him back into their bedroom

"Ah huh" he said throwing her a smile over his shoulder as he walked over to the fireplace to turn it on

"Are you trying to talk to me, or romance me Fitzgerald" she said teasing him

"What… I thought you might be thirsty" he replied. She smiled at him, she knew that he knew how much she craved something sweet after sex. She looked down at the tray he had brought and there was a plate of cookies next to two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. She grabbed a mug and sat on the couch curling her legs under her.

"Thank you" it was the little things like this that she missed so much. But to open her heart to him again, just to have him hurt her once more… she couldn't even bare the thought.

"Welcome" he said joining her on the couch. They sat there in a moment of awkward silence.

"Where do you want me to start" Fitz asked after watching her fidget with her cup for a few minutes. Mellie just shrugged in response. She hadn't looked at him since they sat down. Fitz was now regretting leaving bed, maybe he should have just told her there… he just didn't want her to feel so vulnerable.

"Alright… well… I'll just start and… if you have questions I guess just ask" he said nervously. She merely nodded. He couldn't believe just how nervous he actually was. He didn't know what to say to get her to believe he still loved her and that he wanted to repair whatever he could between them.

Mellie felt bad not answering him, but she wasn't prepared for what he had to say. She was already planning for the worst in her head, nothing between them was ever what it seemed. This was certainly too good to be true. Her walls were up, she couldn't help it.

"I got to thinking today… about our argument the other night.. if you can even call it that" He said dropping his eyes in shame "It was mostly just us hurling insults at each other."

"I'm sorry" Mellie mumbled, still not looking at him

"Mel… I don't want to get into what was said. We've both said… and done things to hurt one another…"

"Yes… we have" she said sighing heavily

"But what occurred to me today was not what we say but why… why we say it" he said and paused. She turned to him now

"Why" she questioned

"Yah… why… We say them to hurt the other person and we chose words or things that we know will cut the other deeply…"

"Because we know each other that well" she said

"But it's more than that" he said cutting her off "we want the other to hurt they way we are hurting"

Mellie narrowed her eyes at him and cocked her head, she couldn't be certain what he was getting at…

"Don't you see Mel…" he said setting down his cup and moving closer to her

"What do you mean"

"It hurt me so much… you hurt me so deeply when you pulled away from me. I missed you, I missed my wife. I didn't know why. To be fair, I was too self consumed to figure out why, but I thought you had used me. I thought you didn't love me. And I wanted you to hurt the way I was hurting, so I did and I said terrible things"

"Fitz… I'm sorry you resent me for the wife I've been but I still…" she started in coldly, still annoyed with him for not recognizing her pain at the time

"Mel… what I mean is… the way we argue the way we fight… we wouldn't do that if there wasn't still love there. Right? It's passion. Unresolved anger that is still fueled by passion for one another"

"So what you're telling me is… you yell at me, you shame me, you…" she scrunched her face and shook her head "because you love me?"

"Yes… I mean… I… Mellie I thought you hated me and you were using me but I loved you so much and it killed me."

"And Olivia" Mellie asked coldly. Fitz swallowed hard, he knew she would lob that question at him and he wasn't fully prepared to answer it.

"I…" Fitz took to long to answer

"Because as I recall… I tried to fix things with you on multiple occasions, but you threw in my face that you were in love with another woman" Mellie didn't mean to be so harsh, he was trying to explain his thoughts and feelings to her. But she couldn't have this conversations without bringing up Olivia, without pointing out to him the times she had opened herself to this in the past only to be destroyed.

"You're right." He said flatly "I thought you were just trying to hold on to me to keep your title, for political gain. And well, I became so consumed with my hatred for you that I misdirected my lust for her as love. I'm not going to lie to you, I've lusted after many women"

"And had them too " Mellie said setting down her mug and turning away from him. She couldn't believe how wrong he was about her all these years. She never wanted to use him, she didn't even need him. She had her own smarts, her own ambitions, her own wealth. She loved him and the idea of them together as partners.

"Mel" Fitz was struggling now, he could tell he was losing her. This was not how he intended this to go.

"You turned me away. Not just sex. You wouldn't talk to me anymore. I missed the intimacy." he said "And I found that in Olivia"

"Well lucky you" she snapped.

"And you didn't with Andrew" he snapped back… quickly regretting it. It had become so easy to fight with her but that's not what he wanted to do.

Mellie just glared at him.

"I'm sorry. You're not understanding me and I'm getting frustrated. Clearly it's become easier to fight with you than to reason with you" he said dropping his head into his hands. Mellie stared at him in disbelief. He was truly trying. She was letting what he was saying to her sink in.

"I'm sorry too" she said moving closer to him and placing a hand on his back "I promised to hear you out. I have to take the bad with the good" she said cringing

"As do I. " He said looking up at her. "As much as it's going to pain me… I want you to tell me about Andrew. I want to know why"

"Fitz…"

"Not right now… but some day. Dammit Mellie, I was jealous as hell. I knew then I was still madly in love with you. That was one of the first sparks"

"Jealous" Mellie questioned

"Yah…"

"I thought you were just mad I had found some semblance of happy…" she said "That you didn't think someone as vile as me deserved to be loved…"

"God Mel… you deserve the world… but from me…" he said sadly, now realizing just how deeply his words and actions pained her. "And… to know he had… when I thought I was the only one… stupid territorial man bullshit" Mellie just shook her head and rolled her eyes

"Men" she said smiling at him

"Look.. to put it simply. I just wanted you to know that all of these little things made me realize that I still love you. And if there is anything I can do to try and keep you in my life I am going to do that."

"You still… you want to work on us"

"I want to show up for you. I want to be the man you deserve." He said cupping her cheek and searching her eyes. Mellie couldn't find the words to respond. She had waited so long to hear this from him. "If somewhere down the line you can find it in you to let down your walls and love me again, well… that's what I want to work towards. And I know it's going to take work." She nodded slowly. "I do love you"

"I love you too"

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><p><em><strong>Thank you for all your reviews, I love your feedback so x<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sorry for the short chapter, been a hectic week. Still loving all your reviews. Enjoy x _**

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><p>The rhythmic clanking of her heels on the metal stairs helped lure him into his trance as his eyes lingered on her perfectly sculpted body. Fitz was certain every man in America would be as fixated as he was right now if his head wasn't in the way of their view. She had worn deep red today, she always looked amazing in red. The noise of the crowd faded away as he fell deeper into his trance. God he was tired. No that was a understatement, he was exhausted. He couldn't seem to acclimate his body to this European timezone and sleep was not on his side. On the surface they were here for the pomp, but behind the scenes he had been working all hours with his Secretary of State trying to negotiate new sanctions.<p>

His body jerked as he caught his toe slightly on one of the stairs, snapping him instantly back from the visions of what he could be doing with the Mellie beneath that deep red dress. They were doing so much better, they had regular therapy sessions to help them along the way but he was impressed at how well they were doing together on their own. There was still the tension of both their subconscious waiting for the reality that it had all been a ploy by the other to come through. But they were doing better and to him that's all that mattered. Minor set backs occurred but for the most part the love they had both been hiding away for so long just came using out of them.

It had been about five weeks since he tore her from her office and that was the last time they had sex. Mellie had asked that they wait until things improved mentally and emotionally before physically. After everything she had been through, Fitz could not have been more respectful of her decision even though he missed that part of her as much as any other. Mellie was never as intimate with him as she was after sex, but he would wait. He wanted her to be ready, he wanted her heart to be fully open to him.

Mellie reached the top of the stairs and turned around to wave at the crowds and the cameras. She let her eyes fall to Fitz as he took the last few steps to join her. He looked exhausted, she knew he hadn't been sleeping lately and she knew exactly what would help him. Mellie held out though, she wanted to see if he would stay faithful to her despite his need of sex and all the release it gave him. She couldn't help it, she knew old habits didn't just disappear over night. She did her best to help him in other ways, she stayed up with him at night going over strategy and allowing him to vent what frustrations he could. Mellie could tell it was helping and she enjoyed this new side of their partnership, but it still wasn't fully what he needed.

She smiled at him as he made it to her side and he smiled back a tired smile. "You look beautiful" he whispered in her ear before turning around to wave.

"You look tired" she replied sadly.

"I'm hoping to be able to sleep the whole way back" he said sighing through his forced smile. He reached for her hand to hold it and missed slightly. His hand grazed her thigh before finding her fingers. He groaned softly as his visions of her body returned. She squeezed his hand bringing him back to reality. She turned around and started leading him inside the plane.

He followed her curiously as she kept a hold of his hand, she was walking with such purpose. "Do you have much work to do" she questioned as they reached their seats.

"No" he said plopping down and reaching for her hand again after she finished buckling her seatbelt. He cracked a smile at her. They were on Air Force One, safest plane in the world and she was still afraid of flying. "I told Cyrus to leave me alone and let me try and sleep" he finished

"You do need sleep hun" she said tilting her head and giving him a sad smile. He caught her bite her lip before turning her head away. He narrowed his eyes at her, she was up to something but his brain was too tired to make sense of it.

Fitz kept watching her as they prepared for take off, she closed her eyes dropping her head back against the seat and squeezed his hand tighter. No matter how many times he explained it to her, even coming with all the knowledge of a pilot he couldn't get her past her fear. The only thing he hated about being in Air Force One was not being behind the controls, he really missed flying.

"Mel" he said softly

"Mmm"

"We can go to the suit now. It's safe, I promise" he said smiling at her

"Right, of course… sorry" she replied undoing her belt and allowing him to help her up. "Thank you for letting me have my irrational fear moment" she said wrapping her arms around him.

"Of course" he said kissing her forehead. He would have explained the mechanisms of flying again but he was too tired. He rested his head on hers inhaling her wondrous aromas. 'Damn her' he thought, 'even her smells get me'

Mellie moved and then leaned in to kiss him. 'No Mel, that's not fair' he thought as her soft lips met his. She moaned softly and pressed into him harder.

"Come on" she said pulling away and taking his hand "Let's get you to the suit so you can lay down."

There was something coy about her tone, he was certain, but then again he was so tired he could be imagining things.

"Mr. President" Cyrus said from behind them as they started to walk away. He stopped and dropped his head, trying to hold back his anger, this was his job after all.

"Cyrus, can it not wait" he questioned not even expending the energy to turn around. Mellie rubbed a delicate hand across his shoulder and it calmed him.

"Actually, I need Mellie" he said

"Me" Mellie questioned

"Yes, conference room" Cyrus said and walked away.

Mellie turned her attention back to Fitz "Go lie down… I'll join you later" and she kissed his cheek before heading off to see what Cyrus needed.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I didn't expect this chapter to go the way it did, interesting how that happens sometimes. Enjoy x**_

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><p>"Do we need to get someone else to handle it" Cyrus growled<p>

"Excuse me" Mellie snapped back

"It's very cute" Cyrus said in a mocking tone "The two of you playing house now. But I need my President back. This entire trip was a waste of time. If you can't take care of it… like you never could" He mumbled under his breath "I will find someone else"

Mellie was seething, how dare he "What happens in our marriage is none…"

"It has always been my business Mellie" he said cutting her off

"How dare you even sug…"

"I came to you first, consider that a courtesy. Like many others I am extending you. I keep Olivia away, I don't use her when I have a problem and you… you were supposed to get me my President back" he said curling his hands around one of the leather chairs until his knuckles turned white.

Mellie dropped her head. "It's more complicated than that Cyrus…please let me handle this my way…" Her eyes closed and it was for a second too long. Jerry's face was there. She had been doing her best to open up in therapy, to try and find closure, but if anything it was giving her inner demons more strength. It meant the world that Fitz's was there now to help her through it, but she feared it was too late.

"Mellie" Cyrus said snapping her back, she raised her head and met his cold eyes with hers. "I need him back" he said in a softer tone "We can't have been spending the last two months slaving away in the shadows for nothing"

"I know that… I know that Cyrus…"

"I gave you your seat at the table, now give me what I need. And he listens to you now." Cyrus said heading for the door "Don't think I won't use that"

Mellie cringed when he left the conference room as she was reminded of her darker side. She had ambitions of her own, that was true and Cyrus always stood before her like the devil offering her the world for another piece of her soul. The power at his feet was too tempting, resisting the desire to wield it was not a skill she possessed. It was something she never understood about Fitz, or perhaps it was something she admired. He just wanted to do his job. Be the President, help the American people, power and politics be damned.

She collected herself and headed for the suite, she checked her watch. Not much time had passed, but as tired as he was Fitz could already be asleep. She reached the door and slipped off her heels. Her hand met the cool handle and she took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. There was dim light inside, she quickly made it in and quietly shut the door behind her too keep the light and noise pouring in to a minimum. She stood there facing the door, thinking she should have stayed out in one of the seats and leave him to sleep in peace.

"Mel" she heard him say from behind her. She dropped her head hoping he hadn't been asleep

"Hey, shouldn't you be sleeping" she said turning around to see him leaning against the edge of his desk thumbing threw some papers. "I thought you…"

"Karen sent it" he said cutting her off "She asked me, well us to go over her paper before submitting it"

"Oh, I see" Mellie replied setting down her shoes and tossing her designer jacket on a chair before walking over to him "How is it"

"Good, not great but good." He said setting it on the desk behind him

"Mmm, I'll look over it later" she said reaching the open space between his parted legs. He put his arms around her small waist and pulled her close, letting his hands rest on the perfectly curved groove right above her perfectly sculpted ass. Touching her was torture, but he couldn't resist.

Mellie leaned in and rested her arms delicately across his shoulders. "So what did Cyrus want" Fitz questioned

"To know why you weren't sleeping" she replied honestly, well mostly honest.

"That's all" he asked

"Well…" she started to say and then toyed with her lower lip between her teeth. Honesty was part of their new deal, keeping things from each other wasn't allowed. No matter what it was. "He wants me to take care of it" she finally said, keeping her eyes away from his

"He has no right to pressure you Mellie… I… I am not pressuring you" he said shaking her lightly to get her to look at him

"I know…" she said playing with the curls at the back of his hair. She needed to remind his barber she liked this length.

"Mel, look at me" he said and she did reluctantly. "Do I need to talk to him"

"No, God Fitz no… I shouldn't have said anything"

"We promised to be honest with each other, I'm glad you told me. He doesn't know and he doesn't need to know, but I do and I still respect your choice"

"Thank you" she replied softly. She moved her hands forward to start undoing his already loosened tie. He watched her, fixated on her perfect facial features. He knew what she was doing, but…

Mellie's hands trailed down his chest, her fingers dug in lightly over his sculpted muscles as they made their way to his belt. She looped her fingers into his belt and jerked him forward, causing him to stand. In the motion his hands slipped over her ass and he was pressed closer to her. She looked up at him with her sparkling blue eyes.

"You don't need these to sleep" she said in a sultry voice undoing his belt and pants. They fell to the floor with a soft thud and she moved on the the buttons of his shirt.

Fitz pulled her even closer, pressing her completely in to him and captured her soft lips with his. Kissing her was enough, he told himself as he fought his hands from moving beneath her dress. Mellie left his lips and turned around, she moved her brown curls out of the way so he could unzip her dress. Her dress slid down her body to the ground and he did his best to contain a groan at the sight of her. Fitz leaned in and kissed her bare shoulder as he undid the clasp on her bra. He heard her swallow hard and knew he was making the right decision.

He stepped out of his pants and left her side walking to the closet. He grabbed a light sweatshirt and returned to her. Mellie cocked her head and looked at him puzzled.

"You'll sleep more comfortably in this" he said handing her the sweatshirt, then bending down to collect their garments.

"Fitz…I.."

"No Mel, it's okay" he said going back to her and taking the sweatshirt which was still folded in her hand. He forced his eyes to avoid her breasts, her state of undress wasn't helping him. He opened the sweatshirt and helped her into it. "It's not right yet" he said softly as he pulled it over her head "You're not ready and that's okay"

"Fitz… I'm fine…we"

"No, you feel pressured. I'm not doing this until you are ready"

"I don't care what Cyrus said. I want this.. I want you…" she said wrapping her arms around his neck

"Mel… there is too much pressure on you. From me, from you feeling the need to satisfy my needs, from Cyrus… it's not fair to you. We agreed to wait and we're going to wait" Fitz said caressing her cheek.

A tear rolled down her face as her armor began to crack. Before he could wipe it away she buried her face in his chest and began to cry. Fitz wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. This was the man she needed him to be, she was always doing everything to take care of his needs and now it was his turn. He ran his fingers lightly through her hair and softly rubbed her back with the others. Fitz struggled to fight back his own emotions, he was exhausted but he needed to stay strong for her. He still wasn't used to seeing her break like this, she was always so strong. Their therapist spoke often about how it was a strength, how it took courage for some to show emotions, he kept trying to remind himself of that as he held her.

Normally Mellie would have fought her feelings and held them in, but she felt so safe with Fitz now and for him to recognize she still wasn't ready showed her the kind of love you can't even put to words. Her tears stopped but she still clung to him, she still had a hard time believing this was her reality now. Mellie still didn't feel worthy of it. She collected herself and pulled back slightly.

"Thank you" she said so softly her words were barely audible. Fitz smiled and kissed her.

"Come on, let's get some sleep" he replied walking her to the tiny bed. He pulled back the covers and laid down extending his arms for her to join him. Mellie crawled in next to him and snuggled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and they drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**_I broke this chapter into two parts, the second should be up later this week. Sorry I had to go here, but I had to go here... it's a tad ouchy. Thanks again for all your reviews. Enjoy x. _**

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><p>"It's apparent we have had a major setback" Dr. Harris said as she looked from Mellie to Fitz. "I appreciate the fact you both still came to our session, I think you both should"<p>

Mellie rolled her jaw as she turned her head even further away, she tightened her crossed arms and let out a quick huff of air. Fitz was sitting on the couch across from her in the opposite corner looking off at nothing. They were as far away from each other as they could be, but she was right. Despite their busy schedules they both had showed up.

Neither of them spoke so Dr. Harris took the lead and began asking questions. She started with Mellie.

"Mellie" She questioned in her soft platonic voice "What has you upset today"

"Everything.. I…" She started and her voice began to break "I just want to know why he drug me along this long to break me once again." She said forcing confidence from deep within her to hold herself together. "That's the only reason I came today" she finished, tossing Fitz a cold look before turning her eyes away again.

"And what has Fitz done to make you distrust him again" She asked

"He went back to his whore" she snapped.

"That's not.." Fitz started to say and Dr. Harris stopped him

"Fitz, we need to hear everything from Mellie's perspective"

"Mellie, are you saying Olivia is back in Fitz's life again"

"Yes"

"And to what capacity do you think she has returned"

"What do you think" she snapped again clenching her jaw.

"Mellie"

"As his whore, his partner, the love of his life" she spat out quickly. She kept her eyes away from Fitz but she could still see him fidgeting uncomfortably on his couch.

"And why is it you think this" she continued to press.

"I saw them together." Melia said. The pain still audible in her voice.

"Is Fitz aware you saw him with Olivia" Dr. Harris continued

"Yes" Mellie replied in a low growl. Her eyes were shooting daggers at her husband even though she wasn't looking directly at him.

"And what were they doing when you saw them"

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><p><em>FLASHBACK<em>

Mellie walked down the labyrinth of halls from her office to Fitz's, her feet ached from being in heels all day but she walked with purpose. It was late and the majority of the staff had left for the day. She had received word that he was still in his office and she wanted to check on him before heading upstairs. Mellie made it to the waiting room and was surprised to see Lauren had already left. A thin trail of light came from under the door to the Oval, she paused for a brief moment before going in. Something felt off, something in her gut.

She turned the knob and entered "Fitz, honey…" her voice trailed off as her heart stopped beating in her chest. She felt bile rising in her throat and her knees threatened to buckle. Mellie had to use the door for balance to keep upright. She thought for a moment she had opened the door to the past, that this was some nightmare she needed to wake from. There in the dimly lit Oval Office stood Olivia Pope once again in her husbands embrace. She couldn't even find words to say to them, she felt every emotion from rage to compete sadness before feeling nothing at all.

Mellie turned and walked away, she didn't even bother shutting the door. The hallways before her were blurred but she knew her path well enough she didn't need to see them. Her ears were ringing but she heard Fitz's voice calling after her, she didn't stop. He hadn't seen which way she had gone and her feet were carrying her faster than she thought she could move in this moment. She made it to his door and threw it open without even knocking.

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><p>"And how does this make you feel Mellie, outside of distrust. How does this make you feel" Dr. Harris questioned. Mellie sat there quietly, she knew exactly how it made her feel but it wasn't the easiest thing to verbalize. Her arms were uncrossed now and she played nervously with her fingers in her lap. She didn't think it was worth opening herself up anymore, making herself this vulnerable. But maybe Fitz needed to hear the truth.<p>

"It… it makes me feel… inadequate" she mumbled.

"In what way" Dr. Harris asked softening her tone.

"In every way" Mellie said, her voice was still soft and barely audible "As a wife, a mother, a partner…. I can't… I can't satisfy my own husband." She said shaking her head and fighting back tears.

"You feel he has brought Olivia back into his life because he isn't getting everything he needs from you"

"Yes" she said in barely a whisper. She could see a change in Fitz's posture but she still kept her eyes away.

"Is this associated to the shame you carry from being raped" Dr. Harris said. Her voice was soft and there was a caring tone to it now. Mellie could hear it so clearly, she wasn't sure if it was sincere or just a tactic to get her to open up more. She swallowed hard before nodding and then dropped her head fighting back a flood of emotions.

Fitz went to stand, he wanted to go to her. To hold her. He felt like a complete ass. Dr. Harris raised her hand and motioned for him to stay where he was. Fitz glared at her, but decided to remain seated. He hung his head, they were so far from being put back together.

"Mellie" Dr. Harris said "I want to give you a moment and speak with Fitz now, please listen to what he has to say."

"Fitz" She said turning her attention to him now. It was weird to hear his name from someone other than Mellie, but in this room they had decided he wasn't 'Mr. President' "What has you so upset today" the softness her voice had carried was gone as she began her questions.

"I don't need to share it now" he said resting his forearms across his knees and leaning forward looking at the ground.

"You don't want to share because of what Mellie said" She questioned

"Correct. And it's not necessary. I understand now"

"I think you should still verbalize what had you upset and the process you went through in your head to decide it was no longer necessary"

"Fine" he said shifting and sitting upright. He looked over at Mellie, she still kept her eyes away from him but he could tell she was listening. "Mellie has gone back to Andrew" he said clenching his fists slightly.

"In what capacity do you feel she has gone to Andrew"

"In the capacity I walked in on" he said in a low growl

"Which was"

"A state of undress okay" he snapped. It was hard for him to control his anger when it came to Mellie and Andrew.

"Were they having sex" She asked her tone unchanged, still monotone and flat.

"If I hadn't barged in… they probably would have"

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><p><em>FLASHBACK<em>

"Mellie" Andrew said confusion turned to concern as she entered his office and shut the door. She took a deep breath, it felt like the first she'd taken since she walked into the Oval. She exhaled it slowly as Andrew made his way to her.

"Mel, whats wrong? What happened?" He asked gently grabbing her shoulders

"Nothing" she replied completely forcing herself to snap out of her stupor. She knew if she didn't find a way to feel something now, she could lose herself forever.

"Mellie you just came to me, something is wrong" Andrew said searching her eyes.

"I want to cum for you" she replied with all the lust she could muster and wrapped her arms around his neck. She didn't wait for him to reply and engulfed his mouth in a passionate kiss. His hands instinctively moved to the small of her back pulling her into him. She moaned softly in his mouth as she began to melt into his desire.

Andrew reluctantly pulled away from her. "Mellie what are you doing?"

"Can we talk later" she replied moving her hands to undo the buttons of his shirt.

"Mel… you can't just come running to me every time he hurts you…"

"Do you not want this" she said tilting her head and stepping back from him. She reached back and undid the zipper on her dress and pulled it down her body. She knew she wasn't being fair to him and she hated herself for it. But she also knew he couldn't deny her, no matter what she knew he wanted her and she needed that.

He didn't respond, he didn't move towards her. He just stood there. Her exposed chest began rising and falling quickly, it didn't occur to her that he might turn her away. More rejection. Fear started to creep up her spine and she closed her eyes.

She fought back a flood of emotions as she felt Andrew's hands on her face. He must have been able to read every thought running through her mind.

"This is not what you need Mellie. This won't help." he said softly "I love you too much to do this."

"Andrew" she whispered as she began to open her eyes.

Her eyes flew open as she heard a loud crack followed by her name leaving Fitz's mouth in a loud growl. He had found her and flung Andrew's door open with such force that the doorknob shattered the wood in the wall. Mellie jumped and Andrew quickly removed his suit jacket draping it over her exposed body.

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><p>"And when was this"<p>

"After she walked in and saw me with Olivia"

"So, do you feel Mellie went to Andrew for herself or to make you angry"

"To make me angry"

"You don't believe her when she said she had feelings for Andrew" Fitz cringed every time she used his name

"Obviously she did, he saved her life. But this… this was different. This was revenge"

"Your opinion changed after you heard what Mellie had to say, why"

"I knew she misunderstood why Olivia was there, but I didn't realize it went to that extent"

"Why did you not try and explain to her why Olivia was with you"

"She didn't give me the chance"

"And what would you have told her if she had given you the chance"

"That she was there as a friend… and…"

"Can you see where Mellie would think otherwise given your history"

"Yes… but I thought she trusted me"

"Were you testing her trust"

"What"

"To have Olivia there late at night, after normal work hours, knowing Mellie could walk in at any moment. Were you testing her trust"

"I didn't think of it like that"

"But if you had, she disappointed you by going to Andrew"

"Yes…"

"Did it upset you that she did not trust you to be alone with Olivia"

"I… no… maybe" he replied "I don't know. I know why she would be upset but nothing happened."

"Could something have happened, as you said with Mellie and Andrew, if she had not come in?" Dr. Harris asked. Fitz didn't respond and Mellie scrunched her face as all the air left her body again. "Fitz it is possible to cheat on your wife mentally and emotionally as well as physically. Did you want something to happen between you and Olivia?"

"No. I promise it wasn't like that."

"Mellie said you were embracing her, why was that" she asked.

"I… I hadn't seen her in a long time… we hugged…" He replied. Fitz got the sense Dr. Harris wanted to ask him more about Olivia and that it would come up again in a later session, if they had future sessions. But she changed the topic.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Well, I guess it's later in the week now, couldn't sleep so I force finished this chapter. Hopefully I didn't mess it up too bad. Enjoy x.**_

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><p>"Have the two of you been intimate since the last time we spoke" Dr. Harris said addressing them both. "The last time we were together we discussed how sex was on the table when you were flying back from overseas but the decision to wait was upheld"<p>

"We have, yes" Fitz answered

"And who initiated" She asked looking from him to Mellie.

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><p><em>FLASHBACK<em>

Mellie moaned softly as she rolled over, she was still trying to adjust to the time change. She caught a glimpse of the clock before she turned. 3:27 A.M.

"You too" she heard Fitz's tired voice in the darkness

"Mmhmm" she moaned in response. She moved into his warm strong arms as her eyes adjusted to the light. His curls were a mess, clearly he had been tossing and turning. He leaned in and kissed her temple softly. She ran her hand up the side of his face and into his soft curls. Everything began to flow as instinct. There was no thought process, no worries, no demons cluttering her mind.

Mellie moved into him closer draping a toned leg around him and sliding it up slowly. Fitz looked into her sparkling blue eyes and found all the assurance he needed to continue. He ran a hand down her body over the soft silk of her night gown as he bent down to capture her soft lips. Mellie's body quivered in response, they were both fully awake now. Fitz's hand reached the hem of her night gown and slowly slide it up letting the palm of his hand run over her smooth outer thigh. Mellie parted her lips and allowed his tongue to slide into her mouth, she moaned again and rolled onto her back so he could move on top of her.

To Fitz's pleasure he found out quickly Mellie wasn't wearing any underwear, he groaned softly as he left her mouth and began kissing down her neck, to her collar bone, across her chest and the flat plains of her stomach. He made his way to her core which was already wet and glistening for him, he inhaled her scent and his mouth began to water. Mellie spread her legs for him as her back arched in anticipation. Before Fitz moved in with his tongue he glanced up to see her hands trailing across her her breasts as her head dropped back into the pillow. He didn't even take the time to tease her with his fingers and just delved into her wet warmth with his tongue, she tasted so good, he had missed her so much. Fitz felt Mellie's fingers make it to his hair as her back began to arch more and her hips jutted into his face. His hands slide from her thighs to the small of her back to try and steady her. Mellie moaned and mumbled his name or at least what he assumed was his name as the pleasure over took her.

He could feel her getting closer and shifted the angle of his tongue and slipped his tongue even deeper into her folds. Mellie came and came hard screaming out his name and grasping the sheets with her hands before collapsing into the bed. Fitz smiled, he loved pleasing her like this. He lapped up the last of her juices before moving to take off his boxers. He returned to her and helped her slide her night gown off over her head. He kissed her hard allowing her to taste herself before moving to her breast giving them the same amount of dedication.

"Fitz" Mellie said breathlessly as he toyed with one of her nipples in his mouth

"What baby" he replied and then returned his lips to her body

"Can I…" she said biting at her lip. Fitz smiled at her and nodded, he kissed her again before moving to his back.

Mellie slide on top of him, running her hands over his chiseled muscles letting her finger tips dig into him in the most erotic way. She so wanted a chance to redeem herself as well as return the favor. She moved down his body kissing his toned flesh as she went. She still couldn't believe just what good of shape he was in, his body was as perfect as when they first met. She made her way to his already erect member and licked her lips. Mellie stroked him softly before adding a few teasing licks to the tip of his head. Fitz groaned in response, he wanted to move things along, he'd barely been able to keep it together as he was pleasing her. But he appreciated her gift and did his best to remain patient.

When she finally wrapped her lips around him taking him fulling into her warm wet mouth, he grasped her brown curls with his fingers.

"Fuck Mel… that… that feels so good" he groaned as her head began to bob up and down. Fitz was embarrassed he wasn't going to be able to last long, not with Mellie's talented mouth wrapped around him.

Mellie finished him off and swallowed every drop before licking him clean.

"Shit" Fitz moaned as he dropped his head into the pillows. Mellie giggled as she wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand before crawling back up towards his face. She kissed along his jawline and he reached up to run his fingers through her hair "You're amazing" he whispered and pushed the back of her head towards him so he could kiss her.

Fitz rolled them back over so that he was on top. He ran his hands over her body and continued kissing her while he waited to be fully erect again. When he was ready he slid into her. His movements were slow and steady, they held each other close. Everything about their movements were sensual and intimate. It was exactly what they both needed.

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><p>"I guess… I guess Mellie did" Fitz said "But… it kind of just happened."<p>

"Where?"

"In our bed..." Fitz was growing increasingly more uncomfortable. He kept hoping she would move on.

"What time of day" She questioned as if she was asking about something mundane. Fitz stayed silent. Dr. Harris looked between them again waiting for an answer.

"Early in the morning" Mellie said softly

"Mellie were you satisfied" She asked voice still void of emotions. Mellie didn't answer, but her cheeks began to blush.

"She was" Fitz said taking the question

"And you're sure of this" Dr. Harris said turning her attention to him

"Yes I'm sure" he said glaring at her, his temper still flaring "I know how to please my wife"

"And were you satisfied" Dr. Harris and Fitz both turned their eyes to Mellie. Her face flinched and her blue eyes were staring off at nothing.

"Of course" Fitz said without hesitation "She's amazing" he added softening his tone and hoping she would look at him.

"Did you give Mellie any reason to doubt that"

"No… no" he said fidgeting again "Look, we've had our problems in the past but… no…"

Mellie was biting at her lip as she continued to play with her hands in her lap. She wanted to believe him…but somewhere inside she had decided no matter what he said or what actions he took they could never be what they were.

"Fitz, why were you alone with Olivia in your office" Dr. Harris asked turning the conversation back to the original problem

"I can not disclose that reason" He said "But it wasn't personal. We're not… we're not back together, it wasn't like that" He said completely focusing his words to Mellie. There was a hint of pleading in his voice, Mellie was certain but she still couldn't trust him when it came to Olivia.

"Mellie" Dr. Harris said turning her attention back to her, Mellie's eyes remained fixated in a blank stare "Why did you go to Andrew"

"He's my friend" she replied simply

"Could Fitz not make the same argument about Olivia"

"I suppose…"

"But for you that is different"

"Yes… I mean… Andrew and I were friends first, our children grew up calling him 'uncle', he's the Vice President. I see him often… it's… different I guess"

"But you did have a sexual relationship"

"Yes"

"Fitz said you were in a state of undress when he found you with Andrew. Was it your intention to have sex with him when you went in search of his company"

"No.. it wasn't...I... maybe..."

"Did you hope Fitz would find you with Andrew and feel the same hurt that you did"

"Maybe…I don't know… I was really upset"

"Is Andrew someone you would normally turn to"

"He cares about me… I know… I know that he loves me. I just… " Mellie just closed her mouth and shook her head.

"Mellie finish your thought" Dr. Harris said softening her tone again. She always took a different and very delicate approach with Mellie, she was very aware of her walls and knew she could throw them up at any moment.

Mellie shook her head again and tears began to fall onto her cheek. Fitz moved again to go to her and Dr. Harris again motioned for him to stay. He glared at her in frustration but remained seated.

"Mellie" she said speaking even softer "I think it is important that you express to Fitz why you would turn to Andrew in a time like this."

"I just…" Mellie said her voice cracking "I… I just wanted to feel something. I've been… numb for so long…. I thought he wanted her back… that I wasn't enough… I needed to feel wanted. I was afraid of what would happen… if I didn't go to him...What I would do..." she said and the tears flowed down her face as she sunk further into the couch. Fitz didn't wait for permission this time. He went to her as quickly as he could. Fitz sat on the couch next to her and extended his arms to wrap around her. Mellie flinched and her body became rigid but Fitz didn't care, he pulled her into him and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry baby" he said into her hair "I'm so sorry" Fitz started rocking back and forth slightly, squeezing her, praying she wasn't too far gone "Please Mels, please believe me. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to keep hurting you." He was clinging too her, pleading with her but she was still unresponsive.

"You can't leave me." he whispered into her hair "Don't take the path we've both tried…Don't you dare." And he started to cry. He didn't realize Mellie was so close to the breaking point, that every day her life hinged on the verge of going over the edge. The thought of losing her was ripping him in two, especially to lose her like that.

At the sound of his crying, Mellie began to soften.

Fitz held her for what seemed like and eternity, but he didn't care he was so focused on her. Every breath, every movement, he didn't even notice when Dr. Harris had gotten up and left the room. He would sit here as long as it took to get a response from her.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Sorry for the delay, I've just been so busy! Enjoy x_**

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><p>Mellie still hadn't spoken to Fitz, he could tell she probably didn't even want him in her presence but he didn't leave her side the entire rest of the day after their session. She had turned completely catatonic and he ended up carrying her back to their room.<p>

"Thanks Sam" Fitz said as the agent helped him through the door to their bedroom.

"The prescription Sir?" Sam replied. Fitz shook his head.

"We'll be fine without it Sam. Just have the food sent up in an hour or so"

"Yes Sir" the agent said and shut the door.

Dr. Harris had left a prescription for Mellie, worst case scenario, but he knew Mellie didn't want medication. She was afraid of becoming dependent. He carried her into the bathroom and set her to her feet. She kept her eyes away from him but he could tell she was there enough to handle things with his help. He left her side to turn on the shower. Mellie had turned her back to him, probably waiting for him to leave so she could undress.

"I'm not going" He said returning to her. Mellie kept her back to him and let out a ragged breath. "It's not that I don't trust you to be alone… I… I want to be here for you. I love you Mellie, you have to know that." He reached for her hair and started pulling out the pins she had in. He looked in the mirror and saw an annoyed look cast a shadow across her beautiful tear streaked face.

Fitz smirked at her, he knew her well enough to know what she was thinking and he took advantage of that. She didn't need to respond to him verbally, he could have a conversation with her reactions.

"I know you're not a child, but I want to take care of you." He remained fixated on her face in the mirror. Her eyes were closed but he could see them rolling under her lids. He pulled off her shrug and placed it on the counter before reaching up to undo the zipper on her dress. As soon as it was down she shifted away from him again. He went to her vanity and found her brush and started to comb through her soft curls.

"I'm not leaving… I'm not walking away for you… from us…" he said softly setting down her brush and returning to undo her necklace.

Fitz looked up again at her in the mirror and it was completely void of emotions now. Her face was sullen and her beautiful blue eyes were greyed and blankly staring off at nothing. He sighed heavily and backed away. He gave her space but he still didn't leave. She showered quickly and skipped her extensive nightly regimes, he could tell she wanted to get to bed as soon as possible. He tried to get her to eat some of the food he had sent up but she refused.

Mellie didn't want to think anymore, she didn't want to feel anything, and she certainly didn't want to talk. She wanted Fitz to leave her alone, she just wanted peace for one moment in her life she wanted peace. She was laying on her side now staring at the wall, she could feel his eyes on her back. She wished he had left, that he had gone to sleep in one of the other rooms.

"We should go home" Fitz said quietly from behind her "We both need some time away from these walls… we'll leave tomorrow" Mellie didn't respond but she liked the idea.

* * *

><p>"I SAID MAKE THE PLANS" Fitz yelled as Cyrus followed him into the Oval.<p>

"We can't just abandon every meeting we have had set in place for months in a days notice" Cyrus snapped back

"I'm going GOD DAMMIT" Fitz said slamming his hands onto his desk "We're going… I need to get her away from the White House for a while" Fitz said taking a deep breath and trying to quell his anger.

"Can we compromise and make it Camp David instead of your home" Cyrus said clearly still frustrated

"Fine…but then we leave today" Fitz said walking around the desk to his chair "That will be all Cyrus"

* * *

><p>He found her sitting in a large wing backed chair by the roaring fireplace when he made it back to their cabin, she appeared to be wearing nothing but an oversized sweater. Her sex appeal was ever apparent, but Mellie still wasn't speaking to him, however he had managed to get her to join him for dinner. They had already been at Camp David for a week and he was hoping to have made more progress than this. Without telling her he had flown Dr. Harris in as well, but he decided not to use her services unless they reached worse circumstances.<p>

"Mel" He said softly taking off his jacket, he could feel the warmth of the fire from where he stood. "Can I get you anything? Water?"

She simply shook her head. Fitz sighed heavily, he felt he knew what he needed to do but he didn't think he was ready yet. He approached her slowly trying to summon the courage, praying he wasn't making a mistake that would push her further away.

Fitz reached her chair and sat in front of her, he touched her lower leg that was curled under her and she flinched. It was like 15 years ago all over again, he felt his stomach turn. He pushed past it though and told himself he wasn't forcing her, he was showing up for her. He moved his hand down her leg to her ankle and grabbed it pulling her foot towards him. He did the same with the other leg, putting both feet in his lap and began massaging them. Mellie never looked at him or gave him and kind of response, but she didn't protest either so he continued.

He wanted to speak to her but he was still trying to find the right words, when she finally spoke. "Why" she asked in a soft whisper. He didn't need to question what she meant, he knew exactly what she was referring to.

"She was there… it has to do with her father" he replied still rubbing her feet. He was studying her face now, watching for any tells she might give him. The light of the flames danced across her porcelain skin and deep blue eyes, he couldn't help but get lost in her beauty for a moment. "He's… he is a very bad man Mellie. It's something I'd rather not involve you in… the less you know the better." Mellie shifted and he could see the flash of annoyance splash across her face, despite the warmth of the fire her blue eyes were cold as ever.

"Mel" Fitz started again moving closer and placing a tender kiss on her bare knee "She came to me for help, I'm the only one… the President is the only one who can help her with her father. Please Mel, believe me when I tell you it wasn't personal. Not in the way you think"

"Would you have told me" she asked still not looking at him

"Yes" he said putting his nervous hands back to work messaging her lower leg "We promised to be honest with each other. I would have told you she came to see me, but I still… I don't want you to know why. You can't be mixed up in it."

"Fine" she replied shortly and let out a huff of air.

"Mellie" he said shifting to his knees. He had been before her like this, to beg for her forgiveness, but this time he truly meant it. "I need you to forgive me" he said placing his hands on her thighs. Her face scrunched in annoyance and her eyes shifted back and forth slightly but she still wouldn't look at him. Fitz took a deep and pained breath before continuing. "I want you to…" his voice started to crack "to forgive me for not hearing you…" his hands began to tremble on her thighs as his voice continued to waver. Mellie's breathing quickened as her heart began to thud in her chest.

"I should have been there to protect you from him… I should have… I should have known something was wrong" he said dropping himself into her lap "Can you ever forgive me…" his voice trailed off as it became muffled by tears. Mellie's heart caught in her throat. She hadn't expected this from him, her eyes dropped to his head in her lap. Tears began to well in her eyes. Her hands trembled as they moved instinctively to his head. She ran her fingers through his hair as he clung to her and cried.

"Fitz" she said her voice barely audible, she was still stroking his hair delicately with her fingers. Upon hearing his voice, Fitz lifted his head up off her lap. Mellie's hands moved from his hair to his face and she leaned in searching his eyes. He could see the coldness had melted away and more tears were threatening to fall from her beautiful blue eyes.

"Please Mel…" he said, lips quivering. Mellie leaned in even closer and rested her forehead against his.

"No… Fitz…" she said softly, her own voice starting to break

"Mel.." Fitz whispered letting out a pained breath of air, his face started to fall again as his entire body began to give out.

Mellie moved her hands under his chin and lifted his face up until his eyes met hers again. She wasn't expecting to see so much pain and hurt in his eyes, they pierced through her soul like daggers sending a shiver down her spine.

"Fitz" she said trying to draw back his attention "I can't forgive you because…" her voice shook again "You are not to blame… I am not to blame…neither of us are"

"He is" Fitz whispered finishing her thought and she nodded slowly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her off the chair on to his lap. Mellie melted into him and buried her face into his neck. "I love you so much" he whispered and held her as close as possible.

"I love you too" she replied.

"The thought of losing you…" Fitz whispered into her hair and taking a deep breath before continuing "I've never been more certain of how much I love you. My life doesn't make sense with out you…. I'm not complete without you" he kissed her forehead

"I… I don't want to talk anymore" Mellie said shifting in his arms. Fitz narrowed his eyes at her, he thought they were finally getting somewhere, he hated to see her throw her walls back up.

"Mel" he said in a confused whisper

"I want to feel" she said in a soft sultry voice. Her delicate hand ran up the back of his neck and sunk into his curls. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him softly. His hands ran down her body and found the bottom of her sweater. He grabbed it and pulled it up over her head and tossed it aside, she wasn't wearing anything under it and he groaned in pleasure.

"Don't move" he whispered into her ear, she nodded. He didn't want to leave her side and break whatever spell had befallen them, but he wanted her to be comfortable, he planned on taking his time and making her feel everything. He got up and walked to the bed grabbing the blanket off it and returning to their spot in front of the fire, he laid it over the rug and she crawled onto it as he removed his clothes. Mellie laid there so seductively before him as he took his time undressing, he watched the flames dance over her porcelain skin and perfect curves. Her hands were running over her body in anticipation as she watched him watching her. There was a heat building in her that had nothing to do with the warmth of the fire.

Fitz finished undressing and dropped to his knees. He crawled towards her feet and paused long enough to look into her beautiful face before he set his lips and fingers to work. Despite the warmth of the fire behind her, chills covered Mellie's flesh when Fitz planted knowing kisses along her legs working towards her now pooling center. She moaned and her body quivered at each contact. She felt his warm breath near her core and she sucked in a deep breath of anticipation, but he merely placed a kiss before continuing up her body.

"Fitz" she whined and he chuckled. He bit at the tender skin near her pelvic bone as his hands ran up towards her breast. Her whine immediately turned into a moan and he smiled to himself.

"You said you wanted to feel" he said placing his hands along side her and hovering over her. "You should have been more specific about what you wanted." he said and dropped his face to her chest latching onto one of her already hardened nipples. Mellie just moaned again, he was in complete control of her now, but she drug her fingers across his back in a show of playful annoyance. He showed the other side the same attention before running his lips across her collarbone to her neck. He sucked on her hard before pulling away to the sound of a loud pop. The dark mark already began to form on her fair skin and he smirked at how it would look tomorrow.

He turned his attention to her mouth now crashing into her lips and forcing his tongue into her mouth. She kissed him back hungrily and started to wrap her legs around him. She felt his erection against her thigh and wished she was feeling it inside her.

"Stop teasing" she whined. Fitz pulled back and gazed into her beautiful eyes, the desire in them he was sure was a match for his own.

"Yes baby" he replied. He quickly moved back down her body, he could have stayed and ended things, lord knows his throbbing member wanted release but he couldn't help himself. He needed to taste her, to please her in this way.

He made it in-between her thighs and took a deep breath inhaling her scent before slipping his tongue into her warm wet folds. Mellie's body shook in response and she arched her back pressing herself into his face. He worked his tongue and mouth in ways he knew would bring her the greatest pleasure, but he also tried different things gaging her response for future use.

"Fiiittzzz" she sputtered over and over between moans when he located a particularly tender spot. He could feel her body becoming more and more rigid as her orgasm began to build. Her hips started to rise and fall against his movements and he knew she was close. Her erotic vocals alone were about to make him fall over the edge. 'Her name is Melody for a reason' he thought as he found the spot he knew would bring her to climax.

"Fuuuckk" she screamed out as her orgasm rippled through her body. Fitz finished licking up the juices that flowed from her before moving back up her body. He paused along the way to lick up sweet beads of sweat that had formed across her skin.

"You taste so good" me mumbled into her flesh as he went. Mellie's chest was heaving as he kissed his way across it, moving to her face.

"That was amazing" she tried to say through ragged breaths.

"You're amazing" he replied and molded his lips to hers.

Fitz probably should have given her more time to recover before continuing but he needed to get himself inside her now. He shifted his body and guided his throbbing dick into her slick entrance. He pulled back out and entered her again, repeating the process until she grew tired of his teasing and wrapped her legs back around him, forcing him to stay put.

"Tease" she said and bit at his lower lip. Fitz kept his movements painfully slow, enjoying the feeling of his body gliding over hers.

"God you feel so amazing" he groaned into her neck, trying to get himself under control

"Harder" she moaned back, fingers digging into his flesh. He obliged and her hips raised to meet each thrust.

"Fuck Mel" he groaned again "I'm gonna cum"

"Me too" she replied breathlessly. He pulled back and moved to his knees running his hands roughly across her chest and down her torso. He placed his hands under her hips and lifted them up off the ground. Mellie's head rolled back and her hands clung to the blanket beneath her. The change in position alone was almost enough to make her cum.

Fitz pumped into her slowly at first but increased his speed and force with each thrust until he was slamming into her. Mellie's moaning turned to screaming and incoherent words as the pleasure tore through her body. Her orgasm hit her harder than she expected and stars danced across her vision as her inner muscle clamped down hard on Fitz bringing his orgasm right along with hers. His hot load shot deep into her and their mixed juices began to pool out from her, running down her thighs.

He moved his hands up her back and pulled her up to him. She straddled his lap as he held her close and continued to pump her. Mellie's head dropped to his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her trailing his fingers across her soft skin.

"We're gonna be okay" he whispered "I love you so much"

"I love you too"

Fitz carried her to their bed and held her close to him as they drifted off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Sorry it's been so long, I've been a couple chapters ahead and wasn't completely happy with the direction it took so I keep going back and changing things. I just can't seem to commit lol! Enjoy x_**

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><p>Fitz rolled over and found his arms aimlessly searching for Mellie's body. He groaned softly as he raised his head off the pillow and forced his eyes to open. He hadn't slept since the last time they had sex, worrying about things with Mellie had kept him from finding any kind of peace. This was really the first time they had shared a bed since the night she had seen him with Olivia and the first time he had truly gotten any sleep.<p>

He had expected to wake with her snuggled into his chest or at the very least curled up next to him, but he looked to her side of the bed and it was vacant. It was certainly slept in, so he wasn't imagining what had happened hours ago. He sat up rubbing his eyes before scanning the room for any sign over her. The sun wasn't up yet but the light from the coming dawn filled the room enough for him to tell she wasn't there. He sighed heavily and dropped his head, he thought they had made progress last night. He was praying she hadn't run again, or worse.

He climbed out of bed slowly and found his boxers. He slipped them on and was heading to the bathroom when he caught a glimpse of her out on the balcony. He took a deep breath and walked towards the door. He wasn't sure which version of Mellie awaited him on the other side, but he would be there for her no matter what.

"Hey you" he said opening the door "I'm getting a little lonely in here"

Mellie was leaning against the wood railing looking off into the woods, she was bundled up in a plush bathrobe to protect her from the chill in the air. Fitz now wished he had considered the temperature and his own attire before heading outside. He shivered but decided to ignore it and approached her

"Sorry" she replied softly and turned to smile at him. Fitz let out a sigh of relief at her response and smiled back. "I just couldn't sleep, thought I'd try some fresh air" she said turning her gaze back to the trees.

"It's okay… I guess" he said jokingly reaching her side. She looked so beautiful with the soft light hitting her face, her auburn curls a mess on her head. Natural, her natural beauty still managed to take his breath away.

"Fitz honey, aren't you cold" she said looking back at him, he noticed her eyes linger on his sculpted body and a warmth spread through him.

"Figured you could warm me back up" he said throwing her a charming smile

"I see" she replied turning to him and he pulled her into his arms

"Everything okay" he asked searching her blue eyes

"Yes… just…. trying to deal with…" she was stumbling over her words and he had a pretty good idea why

"You were having dreams again" he said trying to hide the sadness on his face. Mellie turned her head away and he knew he was right. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

"No… it's okay…" she said trying to perk herself back up. Fitz felt even worse when she tried to force herself into this mode, he tried to let her know it was okay to not be "happy" all of the time, but he let her do what she needed to pull through. "You were sound asleep… I know you need your rest and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Mel…" he whispered and rested his forehead against hers. His arms tightened around her. He wished he could do anything to take this pain away from her… his own father, he still couldn't believe it.

"I'm okay… better…." she said moving a delicate hand to his face. "You sure you're not cold"

Fitz knew this was her way of moving away from talking about her rape and he had to let her do that. She had come so far already and he wanted to let her keep moving at a comfortable pace. He took her cues and decided to do his best to keep her mind elsewhere.

"I guess a little" he replied smiling

"Maybe I can help" she said and she moved to untie her robe. She let it fall open slowly and he waited to enjoy the view before allowing his hands to explore. Her naked porcelain skin hardened instantly to the cold air and goosebumps scattered across her body. He opened the front of her robe more and slide his hands underneath the warm fabric running them across her curves. He pressed his body into hers and he moved her back against the railing. She wrapped her still warm arms around him and trailed soft kisses across his chest and then his jawline.

Fitz scanned their surroundings for Secret Service, possible cadets, or anyone else. He didn't want to expose her or have her humiliated in any way, they certainly had enough sex scandals nailed to this presidency. But the thought of having her out here, where anyone could see was thrilling. He knew what he had, he how many eyes lingered on her perfect curves through out the day. But she was his now, he smirked to himself and started kissing on her neck while his hands continued to explore her body.

"Fitz" she whispered. He took it as a cue to move things along and moved his hand to her center and slipped a finger into her warm, wet folds

"Mmmm" he moaned into her neck "Warm and wet"

"Fitz" she said again and there was an urgency in her voice and a hint of concern and annoyance. He moved back and looked at her face confused. Her eyes darted and gestured behind him and he heard the sound of a man clearing his throat.

Fitz froze, Mellie's eyes were wide and her cheeks began to turn bright red. He quickly moved to cover her again with the robe, tying it tightly around her. He was certain from the way he was positioned in front of her that she hadn't been exposed, despite the fact it was obvious what they were doing.

"I'm sorry" he mouthed to her and he watched her shake it off and pull herself together, into First Lady mode. He needed all of this extra time to try and calm his growing problem. He looked to her face again and he could tell she was now trying to suppress a laugh, Fitz couldn't help but smirk back at her.

He turned around slowly staying in front of Mellie, still feeling the need to keep her covered to find one of his agents standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry sir, I tried knocking…"

"What is it" he said trying to hide the annoyance in his voice

"We have a situation sir"

"Which is?"

"It might be best if we speak in private" he said glancing at Mellie. Fitz felt Mellie's warm hands on his back pushing him forward.

"Go" she whispered "I'm fine" but Fitz didn't budge

"I made it clear I didn't want to be disturbed this week" he said, the annoyance growing in his voice "What is the clearance on this? It's not even 5 a.m."

"Yes sir, I apologize. But she insisted… she's been insisting since last night"

"She?"

* * *

><p>"Where is he, where is the President? I need to speak with him"<p>

"I'm sorry Ms Pope, the President and the First Lady are in their private quarters and have asked not to be disturbed" the agent responded

"I am aware of that" Olivia said swallowing hard at the thought of Fitz and Mellie… alone… "I've tried calling. Look this is very important. I need to speak with him now"

"I can not disturb the President at this time Ms Pope…" the agent said, Olivia could tell he was trying to avoid saying they were having sex.

"And if Iran started a war with the world, your response would be the same" She snapped back, but she knew it wouldn't work. Mellie had probably threatened their lives and they knew better than to interrupt whatever the hell was going on in that cabin. Olivia wouldn't be able to top that.

"You are welcome to stay and wait until morning"

"Fine" she replied taking out her phone to let her team know she wasn't able to speak with Fitz.

* * *

><p>"Olivia…" Mellie mumbled behind him. Fitz tensed.<p>

"Tell Ms Pope I am unavailable" Fitz said

"Sir she is no longer asking but demanding…" the agent replied

"Tell her I will be available at normal working hours"

"Yes… sir…" the agent said and left them. Fitz turned around to see Mellie looking down at nothing. Her face held shock and sadness.

"Mel" he whispered reaching for her face "Let's go back to bed"

"Fitz… you… you don't… you can go speak with her" she said looking at him trying to hide the pain in her eyes. "Obviously it's important…"

"No." he replied "Coming here was about you and me, she's not allowed to control that."

"Fitz… if it's important.." she started to say but he reached up and softly place his fingers over her mouth

"We're going back to bed." he said and grabbed her hand and led her back into their cabin.

Mellie let his hand slip out of hers as he walked to their bed, she knew he was doing this to prove some point with her but she wasn't completely comfortable with it. Fitz sat on the bed and reach for her. She walked to him and stood between his legs resting her arms on his shoulders.

"You don't need this" he said untying her robe.

"Fitz"

"Yah baby" he said pulling her closer

"You're sure" she said biting at her lip

"Mel…"

"I get what you're doing… and I appreciate it… I do"

"It's barely 4 a.m…."

"Which means it must be important… you said you were the only one who could help her"

Fitz sighed heavily, he didn't want to deal with Olivia right now. Or the lose lose situation she was putting him in with Mellie.

"I'm sorry" she said dropping her head

"For what… Mel… what" he said wrapping his arms around her waste

"For giving you mixed signals…" she resting her head on top of his "When it comes to Olivia… I never… I…"

"Mel I don't love her. I don't want to be with her." he said "I don't want to make you uncomfortable or worried…"

"This is so stupid" she mumbled

"It's not stupid" he said pulling her into his lap. She resisted and his heart skipped a beat.

Mellie stepped back and Fitz dropped his head.

"Mel… you're feelings aren't stupid" he said softly. She slipped out of her robe and let it drop to the floor before moving back to him.

"Our intentions are not clear to each other today" she said climbing on his lap. Fitz was surprised to see her return to him, he smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Maybe we should blame the hour?" he questioned before kissing her softly

"I love you so much" she whispered

"I wanted this week to be about us… reconnecting and…"

"I was resisting it…"

"I know baby… I've hurt you so much." he said and kissed her neck "This morning… I thought you had changed your mind and everything that happened last night wasn't enough…"

"I…" Mellie's voice caught in her throat "I am so thankful for last night… truly… I'm still dealing with…"

"The dreams" he said tightening his grip on her

"Yes… I honestly didn't want to wake you. You were finally sleeping."

"Does it bother you that Olivia is here"

"Yes… I mean… if what you said is true and you're the only one who can help her. As much as she's been apart of what ruined us… she's also done so much for us to be where we are. Fitz, you should help her"

"I will do what I can… I just don't want it to be at the expense of hurting you…"

"It's okay… I'm okay…"

"Okay"

"Okay" she said and moved to kiss him but he moved back

"Mel… I need you to wake me. Next time… please." He said staring into her eyes. She closed her eyes slowly and nodded. He kissed her and pulled her back onto the bed with him.

"We need to do this more" she said softly

"Hold each other naked? Fine by me" he replied jokingly and attacked her neck with kisses

"Ha ha" she said "You know what I mean"

"I know what you mean" he said brushing the hair off her face. She smiled at him, a genuinely happy smile and he kissed her nose before moving back towards the pillows and pulling her into his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

_**So sorry for the delay, I lost a section of this and then struggled trying to rewrite it. Hope you enjoy x **_

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><p>Mellie woke to the sun spilling into the room. She glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was well after nine. She sighed contently, she was happy to see Fitz get some well needed sleep and she glad to have gotten a few dreamless hours. He was on his stomach and she shifted out from under his arm, she started trailing soft kisses across his back starting low and working towards his shoulder blades.<p>

"Mmnn" he groaned

"Morning" she whispered and he lifted his head off the pillow and tried to adjust to the sunlight. She saw him glance at the clock as well and was surprised when he didn't shoot out of bed.

"Good morning" he replied rolling over and wrapping his arms around her pulling her to his chest. In a fluid motion their lips lock and she moved her legs around his waist.

"Did you sleep" she asked as he sat upright

"I did, you?" and she nodded. He smiled hoping that meant she didn't have anymore dreams and returned his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck drawing them in closer.

"Just think" he said "In three years we can wake up like this every morning" he went to kiss her again but she pulled back slightly

"Fitz" she whispered

"Yah baby"

"You know I want this for myself, right?"

"MS POPE! YOU CAN'T" an agent yelled as Olivia threw open the door to Mellie and Fitz's bedroom. She froze in her tracks. Her Fitz was sitting in bed with his wife straddling his lap, they were holding each other completely naked. She could tell they were talking but their faces were so close their lips were almost touching as they spoke. It was so intimate. Before her brain could even relay the information for her to feel anything she was being grabbed and pulled away from the door.

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry sir" the agent said as he followed Fitz to his office "She insisted on waiting here, I hadn't turned my back for three seconds and she was gone."<p>

"It's fine… when she is determined…" Fitz started to say and his words fell to a mumble. He felt like shit. He never really had the chance to explain to Olivia how he and Mellie were back together and working on things. He never wanted her to find out like this. It wasn't fair to her, just like their affair wasn't fair to Mellie. He paused at the door and took a deep breath, she must really need his help to still be here or was it something else all together.

"Liv" he said softly when he opened the door. She was sitting, eyes glued out the window. He notice her shutter at his voice. He closed the door behind him "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to discuss it" she snapped

"I think we should" he replied keeping his tone soft and taking as seat across from her

"That's not why I'm here"

"Isn't it though… did you not want to see it for yourself, with your own eyes" he said and she turned wounded eyes to him that instantly turned to daggers. A look he was far more used to seeing from Mellie.

"Excuse me?" she said rolling her jaw and gritting her teeth

"Liv… you came all the way out here. You could have called or sent someone… hell you could have had Cyrus…" he went to continue but she cut him off

"I DID call" she said probably louder than she had intended

"Look, I am sorry Liv. You know I would never want to hurt you like this, but Mellie and I are working on our marriage. I should have found a way to tell you before, we should have talked about it… but you left" he said dropping his head remembering how she had disappeared from his life without so much as a goodbye. That wound was still open and raw.

"So.. this is my fault then" she snapped again

"You left me when I needed you most, Mellie has never left my side" he snapped back, his emotions starting to get the best of him

"Your son was killed because of me, what was I supposed to do" she said her voice cracking with emotions she was trying to suppress

"I…. I don't know" he said "But… It doesn't matter anymore. I love my wife" he said confidently. She turned away from him and stood

"Well don't think you can come crawling back to me when it all falls apart again"

"Liv" he said softly following her to the door

"You were right, I could have sent someone else. You and Jake can handle my father" and she gave him one last cold look before leaving.

* * *

><p>Fitz heard a soft nock on his office door, he dropped his brief and glanced at he clock. It was almost two and he wasn't sure where the day had gone.<p>

"Yes" he replied and stretched in his chair. A tentative Mellie walked through the door with a tray of food in her hands and a waddling Teddy at her feet.

"Hi" she said trying to force a smile "We didn't want to bother you, but you missed lunch"

"I guess I did" he said smiling and standing to greet them. Teddy squealed to see him and ran to his legs "Baby Bear" he said excitedly and picked up the toddler ruffling his curls and kissing at his chubby cheeks. Mellie took the tray to the coffee table and set it down. She took some toys out of a bag she was carrying and set them out for Teddy. "Hows my boy" he asked

"Goowd" Teddy responded in a giggle and then struggled to get down. Fitz let him go and he went to his toys.

"And how's my girl" he asked walking up behind Mellie and wrapping his arms around her

"Fine" she replied in a flat tone. Fitz could tell she as still tense from Olivia being here… from Olivia walking in on them, but he didn't want to make her talk about it in front of their son. "How… how did it go with Olivia" she forced herself to ask.

"Awkward…and upsetting" he replied honestly "Also, I looked into her… issue... further and I'm not sure I can help her, but I'm going to try" Mellie nodded and he felt her soften some at his honesty. He placed a kiss on her neck and then whispered into her ear "Later… I'm going to finish what I've started. No interruptions" and returned to kissing her neck.

"No daddy. Eww" Teddy said moving towards him and grabbing at Mellie's skirt to pull her away. They both laughed. Ever since Jerry had passed and Mellie had pulled herself out of her grieving stage she had been spending more and more time with Teddy. They bonded instantly and he had turned in to the ultimate momma's boy.

Mellie left Fitz's arms, allowing Teddy to pull her away. She sat on one of the couches and he clamored up into her lap, snuggling his face into her. She ran her fingers gently through his curls and kissed his head. Fitz watched them with an uncontainable smile, it warmed his heart beyond explanation to see them like this. He took a seat on the couch across from them and grabbed the tray of food.

"Thanks for this" he said digging in

"Welcome" she replied and continued playing with Teddy in her lap. Fitz could tell she was still uncomfortable and he wanted to fix it now before it got worse.

"Mel… you okay?" He asked in a whisper. She just shook her head in response.

"Can we talk about it"

"Later" she said nodding

"So, what have two been up to today" he asked changing the subject and ate happily as Mellie helped their young son describe they fun they had been having together.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Not sure how much longer this will be, might do major time jump forward and then find a way to end it. Enjoy x_**

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><p>Fitz ended up working later than he intended and far later than he wanted to, he was glad Mellie had brought him something to eat as he missed dinner once again and only a small sandwich had made it to his desk at some point. He walked slowly through the halls with a glass of scotch trying to unwind some before he joined his wife. His conversation with Olivia was still eating away at him, but more so, his unease with how Mellie was taking it all.<p>

He reached Teddy's room and drained his glass before walking in. He moved as quietly as he could to his crib and stood there for some time watching his son sleep so peacefully. 'He looks just like Jerry' he thought, another piece of his life that wasn't receiving near the attention it should. Their lives had become so focused on work over the years Fitz kept expecting a call, text, or email from Jerry day in and day out since his death. He had yet to fully accept the fact that his son was gone.

Fitz left his son in search of Mellie, he wanted to unburden her before they went to sleep, not that he wanted to sleep. A good fourteen years she had kept herself from him and he wanted to make up for lost time. He couldn't believe how much he had truly missed every part of being intimate with her and it made sense to him now why he took so much of this frustration out on her. He was about to berate himself again for not having noticed her pain all those years ago, but shook it off, content with the fact he was getting a second chance.

He walked through the door of their bedroom and barely had a chance to set down his glass and call for her before she came floating out of the bathroom in a beautiful red velvet robe. She looked like a southern belle from some civil war era film.

"Is everything okay? You missed dinner but I didn't want to bother you again. Did they bring you something to eat? Did you…" she started to ask another hurried question and Fitz could tell she was still worrying about Olivia and trying to force her attention elsewhere. She was close enough he could grab her and he pulled her into him and covered her mouth with his in one swift motion.

"I ate" he said running his hands down her lower back and resting them on her perfect ass "but I'm still hungry" he pressed himself into her and leaned in to kiss her again but she resisted

"Cute" she said rolling her eyes. Mellie moved away from him, she had to. They needed to talk and every look from him, every touch sent shockwaves of desire through her body. She had missed this side of him so much it was almost painful to have it back.

"She was really upset" he said, not even needing her to bring Olivia up. "I tried to talk to her… to break up with her so to speak" he saw Mellie cringe at his words as she moved to sit in one of the chairs.

"She's never going to be out of our lives… is she… " Mellie responded

"Is that something you want Mel?" he asked closing the distance between them

"No… I…" she said shaking her head

"What is it Mel"

"I get it…you need her… Cyrus needs her. Hell… I'll probably need her…"

"But.."

"It's never going to not be weird. I'm never going to not worry."

"Mel I…"

"It doesn't matter what you say or do Fitz…" she said cutting him off "I'm going to worry. How can I not."

"Okay… " he started to talk again but Mellie stood up stopping him. She didn't want to hear promises, she had heard too many that had already been broken. She decided they needed to just live in the moment.

"She saw us Fitz… and as much as I… I know how it feels… I…" She scrunched her face and shook her head

"What is it Mel" he said gently touching her shoulders

"At first… it felt good, you know… but… I just… I feel terrible for feeling good about it"

"You mean… her seeing us? Like that?" He questioned

"Yes…" she responded keeping her eyes away from him "But…She loves you and I know how painful it is to witness that…"

"I'm sorry, Mel… for all the times I" Fitz started to say but she stopped him

"I'm not trying to go down that road Fitz, It's just… I don't hate Olivia. I've always wanted to but I can't. And I feel bad she had to see that." she said returning her eyes to his

"I felt bad as well… none of this has been fair for either of you"

"Did… you… even for a moment… when she was upset" Mellie was struggling to be direct with him but Fitz knew what she meant

"No Mel. I felt bad and I'm sorry I've hurt her but no I don't want to be with her anymore."

"Do you still love her" she questioned trying to look into his eyes for honesty but failing

"I think a part of me will always have feelings for her, yes. But am I in love with her still, no" he replied moving closer to his wife, letting his hands slide down her arms to her hands. Mellie just nodded.

There was a long pause of them just standing there not talking not moving. Fitz needed Mellie to believe that chapter of his life was closed, that chapter of their life. As much as seeing Olivia upset pulled at his heartstrings, he was more concerned about Mellie and he knew that meant something.

"She doesn't think we'll make it" he said breaking the silence with a slight laugh in his voice. Mellie's blue eyes returned to his

"No?"

"Nope. And she told me not to come crawling back to her when it happens" he said letting go of her hands and moving to untie her robe

"And you?" she asked running her hands up his chest

"I realized I never truly wanted to leave you. I wanted to hate you, I wanted my father to be wrong about how perfect you were" he said pushing her robe off her shoulders to reveal a beautiful lace and completely see-through night gown "I wanted you to be the horrible villain I had made you out to be. I wanted you to stop. Being. So. Beautiful." he said staring into her eyes and running his hands over her breasts and then to the small of her back and to her ass pulling her into him "I wanted you to stop loving me" he whispered into her neck "You never did, no matter what. And now I can't imagine my life with out you" he started trailing soft kisses from her neck to her jawline, making his way to her lips.

Fitz pressed into her mouth but she didn't kiss him back. He pulled back to find her eyes closed and a flood of tears beginning to streak her face.

"Mel" he whispered setting his forehead against hers and cupping her face with his hands. They stood there for a few moments before she truly broke. Fitz scooped up her tiny frame and carried her to the couch. She buried her head into his chest and continued to cry. He wasn't sure exactly what had gotten to her, but she held back from feeling anything so often, even now, that he was happy to see her find release. He held her in his arms softly stroking her skin.

"Fitz" she mumbled after some time

"Yes baby" he said shifting so he could see her face "You okay"

"It's just everything." she said with the emotions still strong in her voice "Everything we've been through and endured… there were so many times I wanted to give up. To give up on you, on us, on this idea of us…to give up on myself… So many times I thought about walking away. But I couldn't… there was something keeping me to you… I…" she dropped her head again "To hear you say you couldn't leave me… despite everything… I… we…"

"We were meant to be" he said filling in the words for her. Her tear filled yes met his and a weak smile graced her face. Fitz wiped away his own tears before gently wiping away hers.


	13. Chapter 13

_**So, I read your reviews and you don't want me to stop with this story. And I thought it was getting old... anyways here is the next chapter. I feel like everyone is the last little piece of their broken puzzle they need to put back together before things can truly flow again. Enjoy x **_

* * *

><p>"Mellie and I need the room" Fitz said closing his brief<p>

"Sir, we're barely through the first half" Cyrus started to protest, but Fitz held up his hand to stop him. The members of his cabinet and various staffers that had been in the Oval for the meeting made their way to the door. Mellie closed her brief and took her glasses off, giving Fitz a curious look. They had been back from Camp David for a few weeks now and things had been going exceedingly well. Fitz had taken to heart Mellie's desires to run for office herself and had started having her attend Cabinet meetings. They were in the process of giving her more to do despite Cyrus's protests. They were even going over various legislative issues she could take on, anything to help beef up her resume for a future office run.

Fitz was just happy that she was happy. He couldn't believe how she glowed, in a meeting of all places. He always knew she was intelligent, but his twisted view of her had seen it as devious. But now, watching her throw herself so happily even at the most mundane of tasks filled his soul with joy. She came to meetings just as eager to learn as she did to share her ideas.

As soon as the door shut Fitz stood from his chair and made his way towards her. Mellie set her brief and glasses on the coffee table. She laid her hands nervously in her lap. She had been waiting for him to change his mind, to decide having her at the table didn't work for him. She had done her best not to argue against him or trying to out perform him with ideas, ego came with this office and she knew that.

Fitz made it to her quickly, he was confused by her nerves, he could see them so clearly. He bent down and grabbed one of her fidgeting hands and pulled her up off the couch.

"Fitz" she questioned in a whisper and he just smiled pulling her into his arms. He molded his mouth to hers kissing her passionately.

Mellie pulled back and tried to catch her breath "You ended a meeting to do that?" she said unable to contain her smile.

"Maybe" he said dipping his head down to kiss her again and started walking her backwards towards the desk.

She felt the hard surface of the Resolute desk hit the back of her thigh and visions she never wanted to see again burned through her mind. She froze and then pulled away from him.

"Mel" he questioned, completely confused by her actions. She didn't respond and left his arms grabbing her things and heading for the door.

"You should finish your meeting" she said without looking at him and left.

Fitz had absolutely no idea why Mellie left like that, he wanted to go after her but he couldn't and he honestly didn't think she wanted him to. He spent the rest of the day barely paying attention to his work. He just couldn't figure out what he had done wrong.

"If you're not going to focus you might as well leave for the day" Cyrus grumbled from the couch

"Hmm" Fitz questioned dropping his papers and rubbing his temple

"Like I said… if you're not going to focus. Go." Cyrus said again and started collecting his papers

"I'm sorry Cy" Fitz said standing from his chair and walking to look out the window.

"I thought I'd be getting less of this with Olivia gone and you two.. you two…whatever you are…but apparently this is my reality" he said with the annoyance clear in his voice

"I thought we were okay… but something happened" Fitz said still looking out the window

"What's that, she reminded you of the real bitch she is? And now she gets to sit in on Cabinet meetings?" Cyrus said, his voice trailing off

"Cyrus" Fitz growled turning around and glaring at him. Cyrus raised his hands in surrender but did not offer an apology.

"Just speaking from history and the hell she's put this office through, what's she's put you through. I'm not sure how she managed to weasel her way back into your good graces…"

"You are speaking far too frankly" Fitz said in a harsh tone. "She's been through enough and you will show her the respect that is due"

"We've both lost" Cyrus started to say and Fitz cut him off

"I'm not referring to that" Fitz growled "You have no idea what she has endured… what… what made her who she is.." Fitz stopped himself before continuing. Cyrus had no right to know about Mellie's rape.

"Well my apologies" Cyrus said "But at the end of the day, you still need to do your job."

"Mellie wants to run for office, I am supporting her and if you want to stay… if you want to continue to be apart of this, you will too"

"Goodnight Sir"

Fitz left the Oval after him, Cyrus was right he needed to do his job but he just couldn't get past doing his job as a husband and a father first. He slowly opened the door to their bedroom to find Mellie wasn't there. He threw his jacket on a chair and walked to the balcony loosening his tie. He was carrying anger over from his conversation with Cyrus, anger he needed to get rid of before he found Mellie. So he changed his path to Teddy's room, a few moments with his son would help soften him.

"Mel" he said opening the door to the balcony, but she wasn't there. Fitz furrowed his brow wondering if she had returned to their room while he was with Teddy. He walked back but she wasn't there either.

"Sam" he called out and Mellie's agent appeared at the stairway

"Sir"

"Is my wife still in her office?" He asked

"No Sir"

"Obviously not, or you wouldn't be here. Sorry Sam, long day"

"Yes Sir" Sam said giving him a weak smile "I believe she is in the dining room"

"Thanks Sam" Fitz said and headed off to find her.

Fitz walked towards the dining room, his heart sank when he saw the lights were not on but he knew she was in there

"Have I opened a door to the past" he said leaning against the door frame and frowning at his clearly drunk wife seated at the table, hooch in hand

"Is that not what you want baybee" Mellie replied, the anger clear in her drunken voice

"Mel.." Fitz said entering the room "What… what's wrong"

"What's wrong?" She questioned back followed by a cynical laugh

"Mel…"

"Do you even care?" She asked narrowing what he could now seems tear swollen eyes at him

"Mellie" He said firmly "Of course I…"

"Or is it just sex with you" she said cutting him off "That's all it's ever been"

"Mellie what are you talking about"

"Were you thinking of her when you were pressing me up against the desk"

"What" he said and a cold chill ran down his spine. He had no idea Mellie knew about that.

"Oh please Fitz, I know you fucked her there" she snapped

"Mellie believe me that had nothing" he replied

"I saw all the things you did with her" she said dropping her eyes. There was a clear bitterness in her voice

"And Andrew didn't make you moan by…" he snapped back and immediately regretted it. It was still easier to fight with her.

"I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WITH ANDREW IF IT WEREN'T FOR OLIVIA" she yelled at him slamming her glass on the table and spilling alcohol everywhere

"Well I wouldn't have been with Olivia if it weren't for…" he stopped himself

"No, say it" she said. He shook his head "SAY IT FITZ" she shouted and stood from the chair.

"NO" he yelled back

"YOU REFUSE TO AWKNOLWEDGE IT"

"I avoid the topic for you…" Fitz said lowering his voice and trying to regain control of his emotions

"Whatever" she said turning from him

"Mellie" he said walking up behind her and gently placing his hands on her shoulders, she flinched but he didn't move away "What is this about, really" he asked. He dropped his head into her curls. Months ago he would have just screamed at her and stormed off, but now he could see how broken she was and all he wanted was to be the one to put her back together. "You can't honestly believe I only want sex from you"

Mellie shuttered before responding "I saw you with her Fitz, that image is burned into my mind… when you pushed me against… you wanted me on that desk. And then all I could see was the two of you… and it just hit me…"

"Mels… I don't just want you for sex. I will admit… there was just something about you in that moment. It's just." He spun her around to look into her face "You glow when you are working. Do you know that?" he said and she just looked at him blankly "You just look so happy to be back to work and that makes me happy. I wanted a moment with you, alone." Mellie scrunched her face and Fitz could tell she was trying to suppress her emotions.

"I've missed you and it's hard to resist you now. I thought we were okay, but I don't want to push you Mel"

"I've missed you too" she whispered "But I saw.. I see you with her…"

"I can't take that back. And don't think I don't cringe at that thought of Andrew touching you." He paused and took a deep breath "Mellie I will never address what my father did with out you opening that door. It affected us both, but… Mel that is a pain I don't want to keep inflicting on you. To be completely honest I don't know how to handle it"

"I just… I want you to admit it.. I…"

"Mel it wasn't you that turned me away. It was the wall that my father created. I lost my wife, in every sense of the word I thought I lost you but I didn't… you never stopped loving me or caring for me. But I gave up on you and every time I am reminded of that it kills me."

"Fitz" she said in a whisper "It's so hard for me to believe you… I…"

"That is my fault" He said gently rubbing his thumb across her cheek "I destroyed your trust"

"But I knew… I knew all a long that you… that you were screwing her and I let it happen because I thought it made you happy…. I couldn't do that for you…" she said her voice so soft he could barely hear her. Tears started to well up in her eyes again and he moved closer to her.

"And now I want to do what makes you happy. I'm going to keep showing up for you, being here for you. If you're testing me, trying to see what will push me away. Mellie it's not going to work. I am lucky enough to get a second chance with the woman I love and I refuse to lose you again."

The tears just fell from her eyes at his words, her head was so unwilling to believe that he truly loved her this much. Fitz kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled into his chest

"Don't be. This is going to take time. Just…. next time… please don't run away. Stay so we can figure things out" he said and she nodded

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><p><em><strong>This might become two parts, tbd <strong>_


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